Defender of the Light

It’s been a while, I know.  Things are just so–hectic, really.  It’s almost insane.  I’ve been running around, trying to keep up with my duties as Colonel and still find time to actually go out and help the people.  That’s not as easy as it might sound, not when there are so many things that demand attention.  Major Mace is attempting to start up a regular exercise/training sort of thing, which I am fully behind.  We have regular exercises as it is, but I like his idea of a more immersive experience.  I may get out there, myself, and show the recruits what’s what.

I’ve also been looking at the records for our armory, and we’re running out of space.  We hold a lot of supplies, a good amount for “just in case” scenarios, but that means that it all has to go somewhere.  I try and keep things orderly, including the inventory sheets, but sometimes they get out of hand.  Just the other day I was looking into the armory, trying to make sense of everything.  It took a while, but I finally put things in their proper order.  Of course, since then it’s gone to fel again, but I guess that’s to be expected.

I’ve been working a little in Duskwood lately, though also been turning my attention back to Redridge.  There are still some problems there, some reoccuring ones.   Thankfully it doesn’t seem to be anything more than gnolls and such just not getting the hint.  They’re more easily dealt with this time around, thank the Light.  I’ve managed to learn a thing or two, so defeating them isn’t quite as difficult as it once was.

Ah well.  Another early night, then another day of running around.

I’m reminded why I don’t often drink.  I have a moderately-sized gap in my memory tonight, spanning roughly a couple of hours.  I–hesitate to want to know what I did during that time.  I was enjoying some time with my friends at the Blue Recluse, a nice tavern in the Mage Quarter, and rather over-indulged.  I hope I didn’t do anything too unseemly.

However, the situation called for such an evening spent, I think.  General Drimmer came back to us, but more than just physically.  He seemed like his old self again–tough when necessary, yes, but also kind, also humorous.  Even boisterous.  I hadn’t realized how much I missed that until I saw it again.

I seem to remember meeting a new recruit, though her name escapes me at the moment.  That was around when I lost count of how many drinks I’d had, and I never have really learned to stop when I lose count.  I do, though, remember something about a naked Kel’dorei dancing on a table outside, then Arthy and I left to go to the Trade District to pick out some clothes for him.  He’s gone around solely in his armor long enough, I think.

Oh–and he joined the Legion.  That was interesting, to say the least.  I also feel a certain sense of responsibility for him.  He has a good, kind soul, but it’s also an innocent soul.  He wants to genuinely help people, truly help them, and I think he’ll be an asset to the Legion.  Time will tell, of course.

This morning, while I’m thinking on it, I was told about another new recruit, by the name of Hani Tav, a Kel’dorei woman who lost her memory and had to re-learn nearly everything from scratch.  Specialist Devid and Colonel Carter both are helping her, though I was asked to help with certain things she would need to know as a woman.  Some things she readily picked up on.  For example, she read some Engineering books and caught the basics right off the bat, but I still had a hard time explaining the concept of a supping plate to her while we were at the Blue Recluse.

I think this will be a short entry today.  I’ve been fighting a headache ever since my memory returned, around the time Arthy and I headed to the Trade District.

Oh, one other thing–I met a Draenei friend of his by the name of Kilanna.  She seemed very nice, and though Arthy had previously said she was “taken”, she seemed interested in him.  There was talk of a tour, so I ushered the two of them off.  I hope to see him tomorrow so I can talk to him and hear what happened.

Yes, I definitely think this will be a short entry today.  Once again, I have to wonder why I don’t quit when I lose track of how many drinks I’ve had.  Maybe one day I’ll learn.

General Drimmer recently left to go on a mission for the Legion, one that required someone of his expertise and skill.  That left me in charge of the Legion.  Up until earlier today, that was a position of leadership in thought only; it had never really been put to the test.  Today, however, I had my first official meeting, in our headquarters in the Dwarven District.

I had recieved a letter from Captain Evangarde regarding a recent debacle that left an apparent “friend of the Legion” wounded and being tended to in Stormwind’s inn in the Trade District.  I met with him, and Private Rovver, as well as Major Mace.  Private Yune, another recent admission to the Legion, was sent to guard the person whom this debacle centered around.  (It’s almost sad, but I can’t even write it down in my journal.  I just never know who would sneak into my things and take the diary.)

Before sending everyone off, we talked about the Sanguine Tribunal–an order I still find myself loathing.  I don’t think I can complain, however, considering what they did to Colonel Duessel.  It may have been a while ago,  but–I look at him, and still see the part of him that’s missing, the part that used to smile at everything.  I saw him smile again, tonight, though it was fleeting.  It was still nice, if only a shadow of his former self.

I ordered the Legion to avoid the Tribunal at all costs, which I know made Major Mace bristle.  He’s a seasoned warrior, someone who speaks with his weapons and doesn’t like to be held back.  However, in this matter, I felt then and still feel it prudent to have everyone avoid the Tribunal.  They are simply too powerful, and they do not travel alone.  The entirety of the Legion against one of them, I am confident we would win.  The Legion as a whole against the Tribunal as a whole–honestly, I’m not.

After dismissing Privates Rovver and Yune, and Captain Evangarde, to their duties, I asked Major Mace to stay behind.  I allowed us both to speak freely with each other, as we both don’t much like a formal atmosphere, no matter how necessary it may be.  I let him know that, officially, I still didn’t want anyone to even look cross-eyed at the Tribunal–but, unofficially, if they started a fight, I expected him to finish it.  We both laughed at that, and it seemed to put him at ease.

After he left, the Captain came back to inform me that the Legion’s base of operations in Netherguard was complete, and he invited me to tour it, which I readily accepted.  It took a while, but that’s not bad.  There was a lot to see and take in, which I think will make General Drimmer rather happy about.  There is a barracks for the higher-up officers, as well as one for the lower-ranking ones.  Each has their own war room, which will be handy for the lower-ranking Legionairres.  They can be put through exercises where one or a handful lead, and for the duration it can be their own war room, to use and plan.

After this, I was invited to a formal gathering in the Park, so I hurried and went to the barber’s to get my hair done.  I’ve been growing it out lately, and it’s now long enough to style.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t at the gathering long enough to really have made the time (and money) spent at the stylist worth it.  I was told that Private Yune had to “take a rain check”, so I had to hurry and cover her post.  She will hear about this later.

On the other hand, I met up with Degare again, who was as quiet as ever–unless it comes to drinking.  And I met up with a female Draenei whose name I didn’t have the time to catch, but she does have an interest in history, which piqued my interest.  And I met a most intriguing Gnome who expressed such a delight in Fizz, my mechanical squirrel, that I had to create and send one to her.  In fact, I did that just before opening my diary tonight.

Speaking of, I’m sitting here, trying to not fall asleep, while keeping an eye on my charge.  The steady rise and fall of their chest makes me hope they’re alright.  Considering the extent of their injuries, it’s something to truly pray over.  I’ve sent my prayers to the Light, and now can only sit back and do my duty.

Tomorrow I’m going to be so tired, and I have that court martial to tend to.  Here’s hoping it all goes well.

Ever since joining the Legion, I’ve been so terribly busy.  Add to that being in the process of a move from one of Stormwind’s inns to an apartment in Ironforge, and each night I barely have the energy to get into bed.  Hopefully I can catch up here.

Duessel and myself are right under General Drimmer in the chain of command, so there’s a lot of paperwork to keep track of, as well as a lot of issues to deal with regarding the recruits–outfitting them, planning training exercises, offering advice or commands, and so on.

So far, the recruits seem to be handling things well–except for one.  Recruit Eriki, a young woman who probably shouldn’t have been anywhere near the military.  She rebelled nearly from the get-go, and no amount of punishment seemed to help.  Finally, she was forced to resign her commission, and we thought that to be the end of it, if a lamentable end.

However, orders came down from above General Drimmer that she was instead to stand a court martial.  Upon being told this, Eriki was–less than pleased, to put it very mildy.  She–well.  She said things that couldn’t be taken back, and disappeared.  So, her court trial will be held in absentia, and it will be in four days.  I’ve been ordered to be her defense, so when possible I’ve been studying in Stormwind Keep’s library, trying to get a bead on anything I can do.  All it really seems I can do is beg for mercy, and hope for just life in a brig.

Beyond that–peace rarely lives longer than a moment.  In a ghoulish mirror of what happened to Duessel a while ago, General Drimmer had apparently had his own soul attacked.  The methods and people were different, but the results don’t seem to be more than superficially dissimilar.  He seems to have regained it, but I wonder at the cost, as he still seems–different.  It makes me wonder how those kinds of people can exist, the sorts who seem to enjoy hurting others, irrevocably altering lives.

It makes me wonder, sometimes, just how good of a job we’re really doing–and if we’re really focused in the right direction.  As many enemies as there are that would attack us from without–there seems to be no shortage of enemies that would attack us from within, and they seem able to slip through the grasp of the main branch of Stormwind’s military.  I have to wonder if we shouldn’t also focus inward, as well as outward.  I’ll try and remember to bring that up with General Drimmer next time I speak with him.

I’ve also been spending my days out, furthering the causes of the Light and the Legion, trying to put both out there for people to know that they exist to help and guide others.  It’s–as difficult a job as ever, and some days only seems to be growing in difficulty.  I’ll be running through Duskwood some more, as that area really seems to never stop needing help.  Attacks on citizens seem to only grow in number, and ferocity.  Here’s hoping I can provide some measure of comfort and aid.

I’ve come to not much like change, I think.

Today, I had to “pull rank” on a member of the Legion, and I really didn’t want to.  Eriki, a young girl I’ve become fond of, simply would not listen to Duessel and myself.  From that fiasco a while ago with the order known as the Sanguine Tribunal, Duessel still hurts from it.  I still hurt from it.  Eriki listened to what happened, and refused to accept being told to not go anywhere near the Tribunal.

I don’t understand that.  Someone tells you to not go near someone else because they have done despicable things, and you’re curious if it’s true–that I understand.  But to flagrantly disobey orders from superiors, to shout to all the city that you’re going to go “kick their ass” anway–that I don’t get.  She refused to listen, and–ultimately, General Drimmer forced her to resign.

I still wish there was something I could have done, but–I can’t think of anything.  Nor can I help but think about the times I disobeyed orders, and what happened as a result.  People usually got hurt.  I wish I could make Eriki see that, make her understand where we were coming from.

I was at the Blue Recluse in the Mage Quarter with Gremise, a new Recruit, when Duessel stumbled in.  Actually, “stumbled” might be a bit kind.  He looked–and smelled–like he’d emptied every tavern in the city before coming to the Blue Recluse.  It saddened me to see him like that.  I knew he fancied Eriki (who didn’t, though?), and watching her leave, knowing she might get hurt, and being unable to stop her–no, I don’t blame him a bit.

Apparently she ran into a member of the Tribunal.  Elder Immor, I think she said the name was.  I don’t know who that is, as I wasn’t paying attention to names at the time I–encountered–them.  I hope it wasn’t the one who cast that spell on me and made me speak in whatever tongue it was.  Arthy would know the name.

I had to call it an early night.  Today had started off well.  I met with Harmona, and talked with her about the Legion, and even got her to sign up.  I was–happy, actually.  Then–everything else happened.  Oh, to make it worse–what led up to Eriki’s dismissal was, as I was leaving the Park (where Eriki, Duessel, and I were talking about what had happened before), I passed a man I remembered to be in the Tribunal.  I didn’t know if those accompanying him were as well, but–I wouldn’t have been surprised.

They were gathering in the Park, which is the last place I saw Eriki.  So, General Drimmer, his friend Kyra, her friend Mikhail, Duessel, and myself scoured the city until we found her in the Trade District’s inn.  There Kyra and I guarded the door while General Drimmer talked with Eriki, and–it ended unpleasantly, as I suppose I should have known it would.

I miss Eriki already.  She is–immature, very much so.  She refuses to listen to anyone, on anything, and thinks her hammer will solve every problem–but she had a nice heart, a kind soul.  I’ll miss that terribly.  I hope I can see her, though I think things will be strained.  I was, after all, the one who contacted General Drimmer about her in the first place, which led to her dismissal.

So many changes today, most of them distasteful.  No, I don’t think I like change very much at all.

Can the two co-exist, even when they seem to conflict?  I hope so.

After talking with Duessel and Kate, I spoke with Drimmer about joining his order, called Legion.  They are, in Drimmer’s words, the “last word” of the Stormwind military, that which is sent in to a situation when everything else fails, and to keep the main arms of Stormwind’s military at home.  I told him that I do not believe that fighting is ever the first, or best, solution, though I do like to consider myself an adept combatant, when the need arises.  He seemed to understand, and accept it.

We talked about what Legion was and wasn’t, and eventually he told me that I could be a guardian, of sorts, though of souls–making sure no one forgets mercy, kindness, leniency.  The traits of the Light so few people seem to remember.  I accepted this, officially signed on, and am now a Colonel in his ranks.  I–don’t know how to feel about this, but by and large I do enjoy it.  I feel allegience to him, to the others.  I owe some of them so much, all of them at least my friendship.  I hope I’m worthy of my duties.

I hope I have the courage for this.  I think I do.  I had the courage to finally talk with Kate about–my feelings toward her.  I haven’t fallen madly in love with her or anything, but–I find her beautiful, charming, intelligent, relaxing.  All the things I could want.  We talked and–it was the expected “things are so hectic right now”, “not wanting to add another distraction”, and so on.  It was, again, expected, and rather disappointing but–she is my friend, and I hope she stays that way.  We certainly both seem to want that, so that’s the important thing.

What else?  Well, I’ve been assembling mechanical squirrels as fast as I can, though some necessary parts are hard to come by.  The malachite works well as both lenses for the optical intake devices and as focuses for the communication equipment I’ve installed, but the stones aren’t as easy to come by.  They need to be of a certain purity, and that seems to be rare.  Not as rare as it could be, but still.

The squirrels, aside from being charming and even cute, can also help facilitate communication on the battlefield.  I still haven’t figured out how to open a channel to more than one person at a time, however.  I’m thinking that the radial charge capacitor can be modified to induce a differential flux state in the transitional array, but I’d need to test further, first, and I’m not sure where I can get my hands on an ovoid transducer.  If I’m right, I’d need one, but if I’m wrong, I’ll have wasted it, and they are rare enough to make malachite seem like it falls from the sky.

My mind wanders so much tonight.  Been–a very long day.  This afternoon, after “the talk” with Kate, she and I decided to help quell the latest prisoner riot in the Stockades.  They rebel now and then, and after having been down there, I can see why.  The conditions down there are horrid, and I don’t know who to blame.  Yes, the prisoners may defile their own cells–but why?  Out of simple piggish nature, or out of contempt?  After all, prisoners don’t tie themselves to racks or put themselves in Iron Maidens.

As I was telling a new Legionairre tonight, it’s one of those situations where blame is not easily placed.  The prisoners may have done the most despicable of things–but surely they don’t deserve torture.  If–if–what they did deserved death, then kill them.  I don’t know if I particularly agree, but even that is better than being stretched on a rack, or flogged until unconscious.

We worked our way through the cell-lined halls, and General Drimmer joined us, after speaking to me through Fizz, my squirrel.  Together, the three of us made it all the way to Dextren Ward–but his reinforcements proved too much for us.  We barely managed to get out of there with our lives.  I don’t know about Kate and Drimmer, but I vowed to return there, and soon.  I don’t really want to kill the man, but he can’t be allowed to continue.  I don’t think he’s necessarily orchestrating the riots, but he’s at least enabling them to some degree.  He must be stopped.  I can only hope he will listen to reason.

Doors close and doors open.

Today was a day for changes, it seems.  Drimmer, an old ally, has left the Knights of Lordaeron.  He is going on to form a group dedicated to “taking the fight to the enemy”, in his own words.  It suits him, I think.  I don’t know what I believe about his finding his past through people who claimed to know his father, but–it’s his life, and he really is trying to make his life mean something.

As for me, well–I still don’t know what my life will bring.  Katherine has agreed to have dinner with me some evening, though we hadn’t actually set a time yet.  I’m nervous about it, of course, but–I have a lot on my plate, so I don’t quite get to feel completely anxious about it.  Maybe that’s a good thing.

The work in Duskshire goes slowly.  Tediously slow, actually.   The risen dead lurk around every corner, monstrous beasts wait around every tree and bush to leap out and attempt to devour innocent passers-by.  As often as not, they’ve succeeded.

I write this while sitting in the inn, watching people come and go.  None of them seem very happy.  I’m reminded of the conversation with Drimmer I had earlier this evening.  I was in Stormwind.  He seemed, for the first time, concerned, even a bit downtrodden.  He had a paper, a formal declaration of loyalty, signed by the king himself.   Some people would have jumped for joy, and others would have been irate.  Not Drimmer, though.  He was–more contemplative, though that could have been from the way the conversation had turned.

What I didn’t tell him was that I, too, was pondering leaving the Knights of Lordaeron.  There is just–there are things that make me unable to follow Lord Valorsworn with true fidelity.  Lady Harmona had left a while ago, and now Drimmer had left.  Me–I don’t know.  I know that I will not break my oaths, but maybe I can’t fulfill them in the way I might be expected.

I swore to uphold the mercies of the Light; I swore to bring the Light to everyone, regardless of race, creed, or allegience.  I swore to be the hammer of the Light, yet also be the heart of the Light.  I just don’t think I could do that while under the banner of the Knights of Lordaeron–as much as it hurts.  I have to remember the spirit of the Order, and I will.  I have to remember Lordaeron, yes, but I also have to remember what I am and what I do now.

I will miss my friends, very much so.  Though, I heard Duessel was talking to Drimmer, and I might be able to explain my side of things to Devid.  He’s a sweet young man, so–we’ll see.  I just have to hold my head up as much as I can.  I wonder what Kate will say.  I ought to tell her, of course, but I hope I can explain that I can only uphold my oaths, even those to Lord Valorsworn, by no longer wearing his mantle.  I wish I were more confident in that–but it is what it is, and it’s the path I have found myself on.

May the Light continue to guide and bless me.

Today was–a wonderful day, actually.  It started out when I was walking through the Trade District in Stormwind on a personal errand after having arrived from Darkshire, when I came across this rather beautiful woman.  She caught my eye, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to her.  Thankfully, Fizz saved the day.  She happened to see him and we started talking about how complex he is.  To be sure, Fizz is a wonder of mechanics and engineering, though there are “better”, some may say.

I finally wound up the nerve to invite her to breakfast, and we dined at this tavern in Old Town, one I’ve been to before.  It–was a good meal, all told.  I had to try and consciously keep from staring at her.  I don’t know if she noticed or not, though I also don’t know which to hope for.

She was called away to tend to some business–she’s a seamstress by trade, and a fine one at that, I should think, from what wares I saw–and that was the last I saw of her for a while.  I admit that I was disappointed.  We seemed to be hitting it off, and seem to have similar tastes in things.  I even agreed to be her test subject for a few new patterns and styles, though one vest seems a bit–sassy.  Not that I’m really complaining, as I do have one other sassy outfit.

I spent much of the afternoon at the Cathedral, praying and tending to my chores there.  I also have to admit that I had a hard time not thinking about Katherine.  She is–different, really, than most people I’ve met, and that makes her beautiful.  Not that she isn’t already, but–that she is a normal person, and doesn’t even try to be, that she stands out without doing a thing–ah, yes.

Aw, listen to me.  I sound like a child with her first crush.  I’m glad no one will read this but me.  Still and all, it was a good day.  One that got better, as I happened to run into her early that afternoon.  Or, rather, Fizz ran me into her.

I was making a mechanical squirrel for Kate, as I’d promised I would, when Fizz seemed to get it into his head that I was replacing him.  I chased him through the northern corner of the Mage Quarter, and he dashed behind Kate, who was speaking to a man I’d not yet met.  We talked for a while, and Kate introduced me to him–his name was Aerajun, though I forget his last name.  He did like to call himself “Ogrebane”, though.

After a bit, we decided to head to get something to sup, and ended up at a tavern in the Park, though the name escapes me.  I’m really not familiar with that part of the city.  Anyway, we tried to ignore the goings-on, and Aerajun related a story about how he got his nickname–but I admit to hardly paying attention.  I had to keep looking at Kate.

I know, I know–I’ve been accused of planning too far into the future with too little foundation, but–sometimes I can’t help it.  Now, on the other hand, I’ve never been accused of letting my heart get away from me.  I–I find her beautiful, yes, in visage and mien both, but I haven’t even asked her out on a proper date yet, though I hope to soon.  It is so difficult, sometimes, when so much of my race’s culture spouts marriage and kids, with barely a mention at all of–of people like me.

That’s what keeps me from being more forward, I think, the fact that, at least tacitly, it’s accepted that–well–that people like me shouldn’t exist.  People like me, we’re–well, I’ve heard how some men talk, and while they fantasize, the reality is something they don’t want.  A lot of people, not just men, feel that way–like it’s a sickness, and they’re afraid people like me will “infect” their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters.

Mmm.  Anyway, let me get away from that tangent before it’s all I write.

After leaving the tavern, Kate said she needed to run an errand in Darkshore, and asked for some help in getting there.  I’ve been in Darkshore just long enough to know that many of the rumors that surround that land are true.  That makes the ones I don’t know the veracity of all the more fearsome.

Aerajun and I readily agreed, so we hurried to Darkshore.  It took the better part of the afternoon to get there, and by the time we got back the sun was close to setting.  The three of us went to the Cathedral of Light to spend some time quietly talking, but Aerajun was quickly called away.  Kate and I decided to go for a walk, but before we left I gave her the squirrel I had made for her.  I modified it a little, made it more efficient, and added a two-way communications device to interact with the device I installed in Fizz.  Kate seemed to like the idea, so that was a relief.

We walked through Stormwind and ended up at the docks, to watch the ending of the sunset, and to watch the ship-builders.  I still enjoy watching them, how they take the simplest of parts and assemble the grandest of ships.  Like–tinkering with nuts and bolts on a larger scale, really.

We stayed there, chatting, for a bit, then she had to leave to tend to personal errands.  I stayed for a bit, then went back to my room at the inn.  Today was a pretty good day, even though tomorrow I’ll have to get back to Darkshore.  Things are getting more stressful there, but that’s to be expected, I suppose.  There are rumors of encroaching monsters and undead, almost overwhelming the local defense force.

We’ll see what happens.  I hope tomorrow goes half as well as today.

So I decided to request to be stationed at Darkshire.  I did this because–it’s my duty to.  I am a Paladin, a Knight of the Order of the Silver Hand, someone trained and Light-bound to fight evil, to fight that which oughtn’t exist, no matter where it lies.  Our greatest strength is fighting those which rise from the grave, and the land around Darkshire is rife with such.  How can I turn my back simply because I don’t like the aesthetics?  I can’t.

I managed to get some time off and head back to Stormwind.  I was feeling a little sassy so I wore a low-cut top I’ve saved back for a while now.  I–got a lot of attention, and a part of me was flattered by it.  I think a couple men got the wrong impression, but nothing bad really came of it.  On the other hand, I think that the only thing keeping a few men from coming up to me was a woman standing close by to them.  So.  Don’t think I’ll be dragging it out for a while.  Might wear something under the top, too.

Met a few new people today, though not for long.  I was refitting Fizz, my mechanical squirrel, when I met a shy-looking Kal’dorei.  I had just re-slotted the pneumatic sensing couplers when I saw him.  He seemed forlorn, so I started talking to him.  Arthy came up and he joined the conversation, which had turned to how difficult it could be to talk to someone new.  And I know it can be.  I usually don’t really know what to say, but so far I seem to be stumbling along mostly well.

Now I’m sitting in my room at the inn, pieces of Fizz strewn around the bed.  It’s been an interesting day, and though I enjoyed myself–I kind of miss Aerima.  We both are gone often, for different reasons, and even if we weren’t, her heart is taken by another, and even if it wasn’t–blah.  Too many things in the way, I think.  I think that’s why I wore that shirt today, though I’ll never say that aloud in my life.

I think I get lonely sometimes.  I have Arthy, and I have my Order, both of which I am indebted to–especially Arthy.  As much as I adore and appreciate Lord Valorsworn and the rest of the Order–Arthy showed me what a good soul should truly be, and I’m still trying to live up to that example.  He’s done terrible things, truly vile things–yet he has a good soul.   I don’t understand that, but I hope I will someday live up to it.

Maybe one day, I will.

Oh, what a day it’s been.  All good.  All very, very good.

I’ve been stationed in Lakeshire, as I’ve mentioned before, and do they seriously have a problem.  Orcs are becoming a stronger force to be reckoned with, and the people are crying out to help.  The Mayor was so overwhelmed, I was sent to Stormwind to see if they could provide back-up.  They couldn’t, so the Mayor of Lakeshire sent me to Westfall, to see if the garrison out there could help.  They couldn’t.  I was sent to Darkshire (a dreary place; more on that momentarily), but they couldn’t help either.

I also met a most–interesting–woman today, a member of the Kal’dorei, or a “Night Elf”, in the Common tongue.  She was definitely alluring, and I found myself talking to her for hours.  I was watching them build ships out at the harbor.  I met her at just past noon, and we parted well after dusk.

She’s a tinker, like me, and she’s outspoken.  She gets to the heart of a problem without brute force–at least without unnecessary force.  She–she prodded me, gently enough in fashion, though, to speak of some of my secrets, and provided a few of hers.  I’m–different.  I always knew that.  The human world tells their children to grow up, girls marry boys and vice versa, and they raise children together.  Me, I–that’s not who I am.  I don’t–I can’t really feel that sort of thing for a boy, so–I’m sort of ashamed about it.  Here  I am, a growing warrior of truth and mercy, a Defender of the Light–feeling shame for being who I am.

Aerima, though–she talked with me about that, and I discovered that, perhaps, that view is a uniquely human one.  In her culture, according to her, it’s different.  Marriages are differently structured, with men and women having, on occasion, multiple partners–without undue regard to gender.  She seemed somewhat surprised, even mildly enraged, that I hadn’t been raised similarly.  Oh, how I wished to be Kal’dorei.

We talked more, and discovered we had much in common.  Though neither of us really have a problem with others taking numerous partners, we’re both fiercely loyal to one person, and we both enjoy talking about a variety of subjects.  After a while, she got me onto talking about my past, my history with lovers.  I admitted that I’d been with a boy only once and, though he was the kindest and gentlest of men, a man women would surely fight to have–it wasn’t for me.

I then spoke of a brief, and nowhere near as intimate, encounter with a woman–and that was me.  That–that was what my heart and soul both cried out for.  And yet–my family loves me, I know this.  They adore me–but they also have expectations.  The same expectations I’ve heard many people in Stormwind espouse.  Expectations that I will be a valiant warrior–who will one day raise a family with a man.  I don’t know how to tell them that that just isn’t me.

I–well.  We talked for a while, and she asked what kissing a woman was like.  I–admit to feeling brazen, bold–and offered to show her.  She accepted and–we kissed!  Oh, it was–startlingly different.  Her skin had just a slightly different texture than any human’s–yet that isn’t a bad thing!  Mmm.

We talked for a while, and we both, again, are fiercely loyal–and she already has a man she’s waiting for, who disappeared on her.  I hope she finds him–well.  I mostly hope she finds him.  There’s a part of me,  I admit, that would not complain if she gave up.

But–I couldn’t really want that.  If that were me, I’d feel so horrid, so how can I wish that on someone else?  Ah.

Anyway.  We talked for a good time yet, and then she had to leave on urgent business.  I was on my way to Stormwind on another errand when I ran into Albrekt, a tailor I’ve known for a while.  We talked for a bit, about his enlisting in the military, and my deciding whether to ask to be stationed at Loch Modan or go with what would likely happen and be stationed at Darkshire.

Loch Modan is beautiful–home of Gnomes and Dwarves, green hills, bright skies.  Darkshire is–dreary.  Dreadful.  And always under watch from invasion from the myriad demons and risen dead that plague them.  As I spoke with Albrekt, I realized that my duty was more important than my desires, so I mentioned likely actually deciding to ask to be stationed in Darkshire.

We spoke a bit longer, and the topic came to dresses.  That is my weakness, comparable to my curiosity about how things work.  He showed me this dress that could only have come from the Sin’dorei, or Blood Elf, lands.  It was so beautiful–yet, as usual, I had but a handful of silver on me and naught more.  We thought to barter, but in the end–he gave it to me.  For free.  He said that as a citizen, he wanted to reward someone for thinking of duty, honor, and defense of citizenry above onself.  Oh, I was overjoyed.  I had to put it on as soon as possible.

I did, though, have to give him a spare mechanical squirrel that I happened to have in my toolbox.  It could be a companion, I told him, and draw potential buyers’ eyes, as he’d mentioned trades had become sparse of late.  I’ll repay him more, later.

All in all–today has been a wonderful day.  I only wish more would be like it–though with Darkshire in my future, I must admit a sense of unlikeliness.  Yet–one never knows, hmm?