Defender of the Light

Today marked my first training exercise concerning combat with a group.  It was most enlightening.  We were in Lakeshire, and had marched north where Orcs had taken control of the land.  It was myself, Devid, and Duessel who were training.  We worked mostly well, but I didn’t before realize just how independent I had become.  I was used to fighting, living and dying, by myself, depending on none by myself and mine own wits.  It was a most enlightening experience.

Afterward, we roamed the area, letting danger come to us as is its wont, while the three of us were continually tested.  Lord Valorsworn spoke at length of different topics; group tactics, not letting oneself get  too dependent on the Light’s boons, and other such things.  We were heading back to town when we chanced upon Lady Harmona, whom I’ve not seen for quite some time.  I–admit, I’ve grown fond of her.  She’s been nothing but nice to me, and it’s nice to see another woman in a sea of men.

It was as Lord and Lady were talking quietly that Devid, who had been quiet for most of the exercise, simply turned and walked off while I was chatting with Borrodin, who was in Lakeshire on other business.  Earlier in the day, Devid noticed my glum attitude and tried to talk to me.  I chased after him and tried to talk to him, in turn, but he wouldn’t open up to me.  Part of me wants to chalk it up to his gender, to saying I ought to do something that he himself refuses to–but then again, I did all but brush him off earlier, so I suppose I oughtn’t be surprised.

Thinking of not being surprised, I stuck my foot in my mouth again today.  It was earlier in the day, just after I’d arrived to the town.  I met a man who seemed nice, if gruff.  He reminded me of my father in many ways.  He seemed more toward the attitude of killing is killing, and such a punishment should be doled out when necessary without remorse.  I, of course, prefer to reserve such a judgement, instead hoping for wisdom from the Light in how to show mercy.

Eventually, we got onto the topic of how long we’d known each other (mere hours by this point), and how well we were getting along.  I–thought the conversation was going in a direction it, apparently, was not, so I made note of this, saying that I really couldn’t offer men what I thought I should–and it didn’t end well at all.  He walked off, and I gathered Fizz up and trudged to the inn.  You’d think I’d learn by now when to keep my foot out of my mouth, you really would.

At the end of it all, it was a good day.  I learned many things, had a good exercise–but I think my friendships with a few of my fellow Squires of Lordaeron have become strained.  I just don’t know what I can do about it.  I hope to speak with Lady Harmona on the morrow and see what she has to say about it all.  We’ll see how it goes.