Defender of the Light

Doors close and doors open.

Today was a day for changes, it seems.  Drimmer, an old ally, has left the Knights of Lordaeron.  He is going on to form a group dedicated to “taking the fight to the enemy”, in his own words.  It suits him, I think.  I don’t know what I believe about his finding his past through people who claimed to know his father, but–it’s his life, and he really is trying to make his life mean something.

As for me, well–I still don’t know what my life will bring.  Katherine has agreed to have dinner with me some evening, though we hadn’t actually set a time yet.  I’m nervous about it, of course, but–I have a lot on my plate, so I don’t quite get to feel completely anxious about it.  Maybe that’s a good thing.

The work in Duskshire goes slowly.  Tediously slow, actually.   The risen dead lurk around every corner, monstrous beasts wait around every tree and bush to leap out and attempt to devour innocent passers-by.  As often as not, they’ve succeeded.

I write this while sitting in the inn, watching people come and go.  None of them seem very happy.  I’m reminded of the conversation with Drimmer I had earlier this evening.  I was in Stormwind.  He seemed, for the first time, concerned, even a bit downtrodden.  He had a paper, a formal declaration of loyalty, signed by the king himself.   Some people would have jumped for joy, and others would have been irate.  Not Drimmer, though.  He was–more contemplative, though that could have been from the way the conversation had turned.

What I didn’t tell him was that I, too, was pondering leaving the Knights of Lordaeron.  There is just–there are things that make me unable to follow Lord Valorsworn with true fidelity.  Lady Harmona had left a while ago, and now Drimmer had left.  Me–I don’t know.  I know that I will not break my oaths, but maybe I can’t fulfill them in the way I might be expected.

I swore to uphold the mercies of the Light; I swore to bring the Light to everyone, regardless of race, creed, or allegience.  I swore to be the hammer of the Light, yet also be the heart of the Light.  I just don’t think I could do that while under the banner of the Knights of Lordaeron–as much as it hurts.  I have to remember the spirit of the Order, and I will.  I have to remember Lordaeron, yes, but I also have to remember what I am and what I do now.

I will miss my friends, very much so.  Though, I heard Duessel was talking to Drimmer, and I might be able to explain my side of things to Devid.  He’s a sweet young man, so–we’ll see.  I just have to hold my head up as much as I can.  I wonder what Kate will say.  I ought to tell her, of course, but I hope I can explain that I can only uphold my oaths, even those to Lord Valorsworn, by no longer wearing his mantle.  I wish I were more confident in that–but it is what it is, and it’s the path I have found myself on.

May the Light continue to guide and bless me.

Post a Comment